6 Things Only Goth Girls Who Go To The Beach Will Understand

Publish date: 2024-06-08

The idea of goths at the beach may sound heretical, but those who prefer their sunsets sanguine and their beach towels black don't always spend June through September sequestered indoors, praying for rain. In fact, some lugubrious ladies prefer to indulge their summertime sadness laying out on the sand or submerged in the ocean, and should be celebrated for their willingness to put their pallor on the line.

Unlike the norms who pile into their cars to hit the surf with little fanfare, beach goth requires a bit more effort. Beach goth is like a sacred pagan ritual where great care and attention is put into every detail, from the costumes to the snacks and drinks. There is no "throwing on an old t-shirt" to head to the shore — unless, of course, that old t-shirt is from a 1986 Skinny Puppy tour or an issue of Propaganda .

In case you were wondering, beach goth is not some new, fly-by-night trend. It has a hallowed history, from the ancient witches who inscribed sigils into the sand to Vampira's iconic 1954 Malibu beach photo shoot. While it may look frighteningly good, it does takes work. For those in the know, here are six things that only goth girls who go to the beach will understand:

1. Finding The Highest SPF On The Market To Maintain Your Ghostly Allure

Anything over SPF 50 should do, or you can completely white yourself out in zinc oxide for the ultimate lady-Crow look.

2. Selecting The Perfect Beach Read

Sorry, Danielle Steel is not welcome here. You'll need something a little more sturm und drang for your oceanside literary pursuits. (I guess Stephenie Meyer counts…)

3. Choosing Appropriate Footwear

Who says combat boots aren't beach appropriate?

4. Making Sure Your Undead Accessories Are On Fleek

Garters? Check. O Ring necklace? Check. Towel featuring your favorite coldwave and minimal synth record label? Check.

5. Finding Your Beach Goth Boy Toy And/Or Partner-In-Crime

Bringing a beach goth partner in crime is twice the fun, and twice the stares!

6. Accepting The Fact That You Might Be The Only One Wearing Head-To-Toe Black

We all die alone, and sometimes we have to go to the beach alone, too (or with our family and/or normcore friends). Beach goth babes are always prepared to bravely be the only ones in head-to-toe black on the beach, suffering through awkward glances and bad pickup lines from beach bros, all while representing the diehard tribe of shadow and sand.

Check out our new podcast, I Want It That Way, which delves into the difficult and downright dirty parts of a relationship, and find more on our Soundcloud page.

Images: Fotolia; Sara Christine; Jeralyn Mason; Morgan Claire Sirene; Sarah Gates; Wren Britton; Sandra Roldan

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